One of my best friends just left. For a whole week I got to feel the amazing feeling of having the old Jersey gang back together again and it was awesome. I miss them. I miss the feeling I have when I’m around them…they know what I’m thinking and how I’m doing without any questions. We can do everything or nothing and I just smile because I know I’m loved.
I realize that I should find my affirmation and love in God, and I do. But I wholly believe that He puts people in our lives to show us His enduring, unconditional love here on earth. The friends that were here this last week are just those kinds of people. The ones that you feel comfortable with them seeing your “just rolled out of bed” look, complete with saggy eyes and scattered hairs. Most mornings, I got up, still adorned in my bathrobe, to have coffee time with the gang. I loved waking up knowing that I would get to spend time with precious people who I know and who know me. These are the kind of friends that I don’t mind wearing sweats with and the kind that make themselves at home in my home. These are the ones that can spend all day on my couch with me and feel complete.
There is something about history. History with people makes it so easy to laugh; with one word triggering endless spurts of giggles; one old memory sending us all into fits of laughter. And while things have changed…boyfriends, marriages, pets, births…the bond stays the same, no, actually- it strengthens. I feel like these people are family.
This morning as the last one left, I sat here sadly thinking about how much I miss them already. But I don’t want to dwell on it because sometimes it’s just not helpful. Instead, I found myself turning to Jesus. I crave that feeling of being known and truly the person that knows me the most is Him. I often forget that. But I love that Jesus knows every little detail about who I am and how I think. I am thankful in this moment when I feel alone, to know that I’m never alone.
I think my dog feels it too…the odd feeling of the empty quiet house that was just filled with so much joy and energy. But I will choose to continue that joy because God has given me so much- mostly just because God loves me so much. And while it seems like I’m drinking my morning cup of coffee alone, I’m actually not alone at all.
He is with me.