It’s funny how sometimes, when a daydream becomes a reality…it’s just doesn’t quite pan out like I thought it up.
I don’t know how many countless times I’ve told Bart how excited I am for the day when Josiah has his own bed, and can come crawl into ours when he has a bad dream or whatever. But last nite made me think twice about that constant longing. He’s still recovering from sickness and therefore snores like a very loud locomotive…but I kinda forgot about that as I picked him up and brought him back to our bed with promises of snuggles. He calmed down immediately and fell asleep within seconds- while I was then stuck in an uncomfortable position with my dearest sweet son’s face in my ear. Loud train sounds continuously paralleled the heave of his poor chest as he settled into deeper and deeper sleep…thus inducing a louder and louder breathing technique.
Motherhood is a funny thing though. Because even though it was 3am, and my body wanted to sleep; I felt my mind drawing a mental picture of that moment to remember for years to come. I couldn’t get over the privilege I had been given- to care for my sweet son in the middle of the night, when all he needed was my comforting arms. And instead of longingly staring at my sleeping husband’s state of being (which I usually do), I relished the chance I had been given…to love my son in the simplest of ways.
I will still daydream about a little Josiah coming to the side of the bed someday in the middle of the night and tapping my shoulder- whispering quietly for help…I’ll just need to remember it might mean less sleep for me or maybe I should conveniently forget that part….makes a better daydream that way.
*below are seemingly unrelated pictures of a single snow day- although they are actually from another daydream turned slightly skewed reality…a story for another day.