huh.

I have been wrestling about what to post next…while it’s easy for me to go from laughing to crying in real life- on this blog, it seems trite to post a Mother’s Day wish list or funny things my boys are doing right now.

It’s only been one week.  Most people are moving on.  And I suppose that’s what normally happens- especially with something as vague as this that most people can’t empathize with.  I even catch myself acting normal a lot which is fine…but then something zings and instant tears.  I find myself running from the place of quiet thoughtfulness yet at the same time I am craving it.  I know I need to feel the pain more, to get over this a little.  I know if I don’t deal with some of this stuff in my heart it will come out the next time around- and I’d rather not pile it all on the future fragile Krista.

I am so tired all the time.  I was dreading yesterday morning- exactly a week later- and oddly enough I woke up sick…not the easy kind of sick either.  It was awful but at the same time, a needed distraction from the sadness that day represented.  I literally slept half the day away, thanks to my husband’s kindness in taking over the boys.

Today I woke up slowly- testing out my body to see if it would cooperate with what the day held.  I’m weak and still nauseated but so much better.  We went to see a house today and actually liked it.  We’ve seen several rentals and not liked any…which has started to become nerve-wracking since we move in 16 days.  The address is Yellowbrick road…how fitting for a family fresh out of Kansas City, right?  Well, we’ll see- hopefully by the end of the week we’ll know.

So that’s all I’ve got right now.

 

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3 responses to “huh.

  1. meghancarpenito

    Love you…..feel better soon!

  2. Future fragile KKrista… I like that but I do think that God has given you so much more strength than you even know. Praying you get time to process this week (And next week and the next) …Love you sister!

  3. Praying for the Yellow Brick Road. I think your honesty is the bravest act, Krista. And, will be praying in agreeance with Erica for lots of time to process. Love you too!

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