I have been wrestling about what to post next…while it’s easy for me to go from laughing to crying in real life- on this blog, it seems trite to post a Mother’s Day wish list or funny things my boys are doing right now.
It’s only been one week. Most people are moving on. And I suppose that’s what normally happens- especially with something as vague as this that most people can’t empathize with. I even catch myself acting normal a lot which is fine…but then something zings and instant tears. I find myself running from the place of quiet thoughtfulness yet at the same time I am craving it. I know I need to feel the pain more, to get over this a little. I know if I don’t deal with some of this stuff in my heart it will come out the next time around- and I’d rather not pile it all on the future fragile Krista.
I am so tired all the time. I was dreading yesterday morning- exactly a week later- and oddly enough I woke up sick…not the easy kind of sick either. It was awful but at the same time, a needed distraction from the sadness that day represented. I literally slept half the day away, thanks to my husband’s kindness in taking over the boys.
Today I woke up slowly- testing out my body to see if it would cooperate with what the day held. I’m weak and still nauseated but so much better. We went to see a house today and actually liked it. We’ve seen several rentals and not liked any…which has started to become nerve-wracking since we move in 16 days. The address is Yellowbrick road…how fitting for a family fresh out of Kansas City, right? Well, we’ll see- hopefully by the end of the week we’ll know.
So that’s all I’ve got right now.