saying yes

As time ticks away and November gets closer…my emotions go up and down, up and down…as tho someone is stringing me along like a yo-yo.

I have started to think about the nursery but truth be told, I don’t want to change around the guest room until I know it’s absolutely necessary.  Part of me is holding back in case this doesn’t happen, but then even if it does; she won’t sleep in her crib for a while…so she doesn’t need her own room until then.

I want to buy a few baby girl clothes but I did that the last time, and now I have a few too many summer outfits for a winter baby…not wanting to make the same mistake and purchase winter clothing if she doesn’t come home to us.  Then again, I don’t think there are mistakes in this whole story.

Adoption is a tricky road.  Few walk its path, but many know what it’s like to welcome a baby into their home.  I am trusting and hoping and praying…let this baby girl be a Farrell.  My heart feels like it’s walking the plank at times- teetering on the edge- waiting to fall into stormy sad seas or beautiful blissful tropical waters…this journey can end in such different ways.

I know the joy and now I’ve known the pain.  I am saying yes.  We are saying yes.  Jesus gets to take care of the rest.  And for that, I am truly thankful.

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2 responses to “saying yes

  1. Thank you for sharing the story of your family and God’s goodness with such vulnerability. I love the Farrell family.

  2. deedee beckstrom

    Can’t imagine – must be really hard! Sending love and positive thoughts to you and your family.

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