As time ticks away and November gets closer…my emotions go up and down, up and down…as tho someone is stringing me along like a yo-yo.
I have started to think about the nursery but truth be told, I don’t want to change around the guest room until I know it’s absolutely necessary. Part of me is holding back in case this doesn’t happen, but then even if it does; she won’t sleep in her crib for a while…so she doesn’t need her own room until then.
I want to buy a few baby girl clothes but I did that the last time, and now I have a few too many summer outfits for a winter baby…not wanting to make the same mistake and purchase winter clothing if she doesn’t come home to us. Then again, I don’t think there are mistakes in this whole story.
Adoption is a tricky road. Few walk its path, but many know what it’s like to welcome a baby into their home. I am trusting and hoping and praying…let this baby girl be a Farrell. My heart feels like it’s walking the plank at times- teetering on the edge- waiting to fall into stormy sad seas or beautiful blissful tropical waters…this journey can end in such different ways.
I know the joy and now I’ve known the pain. I am saying yes. We are saying yes. Jesus gets to take care of the rest. And for that, I am truly thankful.