the end of an era

It’s funny.  Since I was 5 years old and started school, I remember having to get up in the morning and be somewhere.  Through the age of 30, for the most part, I had to be up at a certain time and go to school or a job or something.  But then, one day, I became a mom.  At the age of 30, I stopped having to be somewhere at a certain time.  Sure, I had to be up and to be honest, it was much harder to get up on another human’s time table, but I never had to go anywhere if I didn’t want to. For the past four years, my life has looked relatively similar.

Being a stay at home mom is a gift for which I am super grateful.  And today as I looked at my calendar it hit me.  Josiah starts pre-k next Thursday and while it’s only two mornings a week, it means I must get all three kids up at out the door before 8am.  This isn’t optional anymore.  This isn’t based on whether it was a long night or whether I’m exhausted or someone needs to sleep in or anything…it’s mandatory.  School.

I’m really excited for Josiah to begin.  I know I’ll miss him and be sad but that the same time, it’s a fresh perspective on life for me- only juggling two kids for a few hours a week.  I’m excited for the possibilities…using the double stroller…shopping at Costco bc two kids can fit up front…easier playdates…some one on one time with Regan while Maya naps.

But what hit me today was that this is the beginning.  Next year, it’ll be FIVE days a week?!?  And forever and ever after that…….my life as a mom is about to drastically change.  For the past four years, I’ve been able to stay at home, in my pajamas, unshowered for as many days as I want.  I’ve lamented at times about how hard it’s been to transition into this job of motherhood.  But the loneliness has been one of the hardest parts.  Of course, I know that it’s partly my fault.  But it also comes with the territory of being a mom of three young kiddies.

So, as I look at the future- it seems bright.  I’m forced to be in contact with other people on a regular basis.  It’ll be good for me.  My oldest is going to spend time away from me.  It’ll be good for me (and him!).  I have to wake up with an alarm two days a week.  Dang.  It cracks me up that it was such a normal part of my life before kids came along.  I hate alarm clocks.  But I’m loving the thought of a new season.

I’m rambling so this is where I’ll stop.


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