Category Archives: Bart- my husband.

happy 11 years

enhanceSometimes, in my random daydreams I think about what it would be like to help people in their marriages.  And sometimes I stop myself because I don’t have the tumultuous, trial-ridden marriage that would have taught me through pain and suffering, how to love another person.  But then I remember, I have Bart.

He is what makes our marriage work.  Ultimately, God in him, yes- but he chooses to say yes and do the work.  He is always the first to apologize.  He is always the first to go low, to serve, to care, to give up a fight.  He won’t be walked upon or guilted- he is strong and stands up for himself and injustice, but he does it in such a humble way.  When I think about the girl I was, at 26, when we got married, I am SO GRATEFUL for how God has used my husband to change who I am today, at 37.  Gosh.

I have learned sensitivity…going from a girl without much of a sensitive bone in my body- to one who cares deeply about the way words are spoken, who cries at the drop of a hat, who thinks about how others would feel in any given situation.  I wasn’t any of those before I met Bart.

I have learned servanthood…admittedly I have a LONG way to go on this one…but I get to watch a man daily lay down his rights.  He gives and gives, with no expectations.  I tend to give and give, but often find myself waiting for reciprocation.  Serving is not about self, it’s about others.  My husband knows this to his core.

I have learned dependance on Jesus.  One of the first things I noticed about Bart is how often he’d ask the question “so- what does God say?” to anyone who was discussing a problem or choice or life decision.  He showed me that no matter what, ultimately God’s answer is the best.  God wants His BEST for us, not just good enough.  He created us with such unique desires and giftings, and He wants those realized!  But even more than all that, He wants a deep intimate relationship with us…where we can enjoy each other and just receive His love.  I feel like Bart has led us into a place where we can receive Him in such beautiful, life-changing ways.

I have learned how to let go of what I want.  This is probably the hardest lesson that I keep having to learn, over and over and over.  But my dearest husband has the patience of a …person with tons of patience…and lets me stumble and fail in this area…while still believing the best.  My favorite thing is that he doesn’t let my damaging behaviors continue too long, he lovingly calls me out, in the best and kindest ways, and then I have the chance to try again.  But he’s never nagged, never degraded me, never made me feel like a failure.  I like things a certain way, I love to control situations, I enjoy choosing what I do, when I want… but I don’t want to be this person forever.  And slowly, I’m watching God change that selfish, fear-based side of me, little by little.  I’m just so thankful that Bart has so much patience.

You may be thinking, “gosh krista- you know, half the marriage is you… you’re not giving yourself any credit” but trust me…I take LOTS of credit.  I love who I am and believe wholeheartedly that God has given us each other- we are so good for one another.  But the truth is, if Bart wasn’t continually giving me such unconditional love in our marriage- it would look vastly different.  And I’m not sure it’d be pretty.  The Bible talks about a wife needing to submit to their husband, but this is built on the admonition that a husband needs to love his wife like Christ loves the church.  Bart has never once even used the word submit in any context…because he’s been far too busy loving me like Christ loves us.  I can’t tell you how thankful I am for this.  And how well this whole set-up works.  I love my husband.  I love my marriage.  In a world where marriage is becoming such a temporary union, I want to celebrate ours.  I enjoy being married.  It’s amazing.

So, on this day…October 28, 2017…our 11th anniversary and my husband’s 39th birthday…I want to say thank you Bart.  I am truly so much better because of your love.  Thank you for loving Jesus with such abandon and for loving me into a better version of me, every single day, just by being yourself.  I cannot believe that I get to be married to such a stud.  You’re my favorite.  Forever.

*If you feel like reading our whole love story…I wrote it down awhile ago.  Start at last year’s 10 YEAR post and follow the trail.

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happy fathers day

I want my children to grow up and be who God has intended for them to be…but so often I find myself hoping and praying that they hold fast to the traits that make their father great.  I don’t want mini barts because I love their own unique personalities, but there are qualities I hope will stick.

Which ones you might wonder?

Honesty.  Bart is the most honest man I’ve ever known.  Trust is heavily linked to honesty obviously- and I love that he is so trustworthy.  He’s dependable and real and values truth so strongly.  Oh, I hope our children are that honest.

Humility.  Bart exudes humility even when he thinks he’s being prideful.  He might roll his eyes at this, but I’ve never met someone who desires humility more than he does.  He is constantly checking his heart and his motives- even when everything seems fine.

Righteous.  I don’t need our children to be perfect- Lord knows we aren’t.  But what I love about Bart is that he strives for righteousness.  He isn’t content to live status quo, or “good enough”…he is always looking for more.  He wants to go deeper in God because he knows that more God is more love and that lead to righteousness.

Humor.  If our children are half as hilarious as Barty, they are golden.  Not only does he have a genuine sense of how to make people laugh, he knows when to use it in the most serious of situations.  Laughter can diffuse so much tension and mend so much frustration in a moment.  He’s brilliant.  Our marriage is better because he’s funny.

Kindness.  It’s rare to find a man who is so in tune with what is going on around them.  I don’t mean to stereotype, but so many men are pretty aloof and they don’t see past what’s right in front of them.  This is a round about way to get to kindness, but I know that Bart’s heart for others stems from his sensitive heart- and the way he cares for others is so kind.   He is sweet and thoughtful and I already see this developing in my sons.  What a gift.

Servant.  I don’t know another man who serves his wife like Bart does.  While I wish I was the all american house wife of old, clearly I am not.  Bart cleans our house, does laundry, dishes, changes diapers and everything in between…plus his full time job.  He serves relentlessly and does so much without even being asked- he’s my hero.  I am so thankful that our children get to see such a wonderful example if they ever want to get married.

I could keep going and going…but I have many more fathers days to come.

You are my favorite Bart.  Happy Fathers Day my dearest!

And Happy Father’s Day to my own dad- the one I got so many qualities from myself.  I am so thankful you are my dad… I couldn’t have picked a better one.

Love, Krista

the father

When I married Bart almost 8 years ago, I knew I was getting an incredible man.  I knew he was kind and compassionate, full of honesty and integrity.  I knew he was the funniest man I’d ever met and that he had such a zeal for the Lord that sometimes I wanted to punch him out- in a good way.  I knew he was sensitive and strong, sweet and handsome.

But I didn’t get to see the gems hidden below his surface until our first baby came along.  Bart has a way with babies…and it’s so precious to watch.  Some men shy away from the newborn/infant stage, but he doesn’t.  He jumps right in and has taught me so much along the way.  My favorite memories are of the way he tenderly figures out what each of our new babies likes, whether it be rubbing the nose, a butt pat, rocking, singing…you name it, he tries it and then lets me know the perfect tricks.

Just this week, I watched him with Maya…his tenderness is beyond compare- he loves her in a way that I cannot.  He wraps her up in his big strong arms and she knows…she is his.  I have said it jokingly, but I really believe that he is Maya’s favorite.  She searches him out in a room, she lights up when she hears his voice and comes alive at the sight of his smile.  I don’t blame her.  The way he patiently waits to figure her out is such a sweet example to me.

Yes, Bart is an amazing dad to all our children, but lately, I’ve been in awe of the way he tenderly loves our sweet baby girl.  It’s a gift.  I’ve never claimed to have it all together in any area of my life, but mothering has been one area I fail at constantly.  I’m human, and I am trusting the Lord to redeem my shortfalls…but I do know that redemption often comes in one instant.  The moment my sweet husband plucks our little daughter from her crib and rocks her to sleep, showering her with kisses as he soothingly speaks love over her…I don’t have to fear- our children know love.  They have been blessed with a dad who knows his Father, and trusts in Him completely.

Bart reminds me consistently of the way the Father loves me.  I have been blessed to grow up with a wonderful dad who still loves me deeply…even 34 years later.   He has always been an amazing example of how my heavenly Father loves me.  But as I watch Bart parent, it gives me yet another view of who God is- and how tender my Father is with me.  I am so grateful that my children get to grow up with this view in front of them.

Thank you dad for loving me so well.

Thank you Bart for loving our children so incredibly.

Happy Fathers Day to my favorite men.  I love you.

miss you.

Today I woke up and immediately launched into a funk.  I wasn’t sure what the heck was the matter…but after a few hours I realized- I was sad because Bart was leaving for a few days for work.  Back in Kansas City, when he had to fly away every other week; I’d try soo hard to resist the pre-leave funk and most times it worked.  But if I don’t battle against it- it comes like an old friend…or enemy.

When I think about it, I have nothing to grumble about.  The man I once watched leave every other Sunday for many days now only leaves once every couple months…and it’s usually just a couple nights.  So gosh darn it, why the heck do I feel so sad today?

He left a few minutes ago.  And I just have this lonely feeling in my stomach.  Poor me.  Yes, this is totally a feel sorry for me post.  But what I really need to dwell on, is the gift of having him around so. much. more than we used to.  Praise Jesus!

I’m gonna grab the boys and drive to the ocean.

i could celebrate this day often

I wrestle every Fathers day whether to write a post about my dad or my husband and always end up with something shared.  But this year I’ve decided to break the mold and just write about the man who fathers my children.  (Dad- I love you to pieces and I know you know that!!)

Daddy.  The word our sons use to get my husband’s attention.  Sometimes Josiah also uses “Bark” which I find extremely hilarious and perhaps is why it’s ever repeated.  I see how Josiah and Regan look at their daddy and it amazes me.  And it excites me- that these precious boys get to grow up with such an incredible God-fearing man as their father.

Daddy.  He is a joy bringer.  He is always excited to see us when he comes home.  He knows how to make each one of us laugh on a dime.  And it’s different for every one of us.  It’s precious.  It’s family.

Daddy.  He aligns his heart with his heavenly Father so often that it brings peace to our home.  He pays attention to his sons and fills needs before they are even requested.  What I know is that our boys feel so loved and affirmed and treasured by their daddy…and that makes me more thankful than anything else.  For I know that they will relate to God through a lense of who their earthly father is…and just as I have- it’s a clearer picture because of the wonderfulness of a dad who loves Jesus so well.

Thank you Bart, for being the perfect blend of weird and cool…for always listening to Holy Spirit…and loving me and your boys so amazingly.

Happy Fathers Day.

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hunka hunka burnin love.

*I totally titled this post “My best friend” and then…well…I just can’t even explain what came over me.

Here it is: the end of the month.  I don’t think I did as much as I wanted in the way of posting about my honey…but it’s better than most months.

He’s my best friend.  I can’t imagine life without him.  The way his eyes wrinkle up when he smiles…his quirky dancing that Josiah has started emulating…the way he serves me relentlessly.

I don’t deserve to be married to such an incredible man.  But God gave me His best.  And he is my favorite person, my greatest friend in the world.

I love you Barty, to the moon and back.  the mostest.

We got engaged on this trip to Panama...he actually wore this helmet in the airport.  My kind of dork.

We got engaged on this trip to Panama ’06…he actually wore this helmet in the airport. My kind of dork.

soft

“A soft answer turns away wrath.”  Proverbs 15:1

Bart has all but mastered the art of a soft answer.  I am dramatic, I am rash at times, I am …let’s just say “not soft” often.  I come at him with guns blazin’ and he is so quick to holster his and offer kindness, a listening ear, a funny quip to ease the tension…the benefit of the doubt, the opposite of a defensive answer.  It’s really quite amazing.  And even in the middle of it, I sometimes am in awe.  Is he seriously not going to get riled up?  Incredible.

Sometimes I think that the key to a peaceful marriage is this verse, is a soft answer.  I am clueless really, but I think this definitely plays a huge role in why our marriage is so awesome.  I am so thankful that Holy Spirit is in my husband and that I get to witness this first hand.  So many arguments never even get off the ground because the soft answer squelches the spark- the fire never had a chance.  God is so good.

I love you to the moon and back Barty.